You or Someone You Know.... Could Be A FAKEWALKER!

Do YOU hold on to the rails on the treadmill? If so, STOP! According to a recent article, those who hold on to the rails aren't doing a dang thing.

Now, something you should know about my cute little momma, is that she wakes up religiously every morning at 5:00 for her morning trek on the treadmill. For three years now, she has been chugging up a hefty incline at a breakneck speed, but all the while, she's been holding on to the rails.

Being the avid Googler that she is ( I too love a good Google. I've been known to consult Google for medical mysteries of my own with such key words as "itchy mole" or "lump in armpit" or my personal favorite from my Freshman year, "How do you know if you have diabetes?") she surfed the Internet for treadmill tips, only to find that she has been living a lie.

As she read the article, she was hit by the cold, dark truth.

My mother is a Fakewalker. She's been Fakewalking for over three years.

Here's my personal favorite part about the article:

Holding Onto the Treadmill is Fake Jogging

"One time I was beside a 50-something woman, who was fake-jogging at 5.8 mph, her hands clinging to the front bar. She said she’d been doing it that way for years, and asserted, "This works best for me!" What works? After years of doing that, she's only at 5.8 mph? She continued to pitter-patter, unaware that her neck kept jutting forward like a pigeon's.
There's a chubby man about 60 at my gym who's been clamping his hands on the front bar for years while fake-jogging 6 mph. His feet slam down with each step as his body abruptly jerks. This is not jogging. And it's no wonder he can't lose weight. "

This author is not kidding around. And now, thanks to him, neither is my mother. A Realwalking fire has been lit under her feet... the determination is nearly pallpable.

She wrote me this morning, less than 24 hours after the veil had been lifted from her eyes, with this bold message:

"You will be proud to know that I broke the bonds of fake-walking this morning when from 5:00-5:30am I walked without touching the handrailsof the treadmill. I moved my arms obnoxiously the entire time as if to make up for three years of arm-holding. I still managed a 2 mile walk at 4 miles per hour on a level 3 incline."

(She's going to kill me for putting that on here! But you can't write an e-mail that funny and not share it...)

Here's to you, Mom for discontinuing the cycle of Fakewalking and starting anew! May you be a shining light to Fakewalkers everywhere!