Things I do NOT want to hear while eating my morning Bran Flakes:

#1: "So I need to inspect my stool to make sure the supplement is working?"

Yes, I don't want to hear this. While flipping from Good Morning America to the Today Show, I caught just enough of another show to hear this sentence. This is like automatic upchuck into my Bran Flakes. However, as some of you may know, I don't really get bothered by "stool." So I had to pause on the show because now I'm wondering, "during inspection, what am I looking for exactly?" Well.... that leads to phrase #2.

#2: "During colon cleansing, tape worms are often found in your stool. That is how you will know the supplement is working."

WWWWHHHHHHHYYYYYYY did they have to say that? P.S.- I looked at pictures this morning on Google Images and I am absolutely scarred for life. If I have a tapeworm, which the more I think about it, the more I am convinced that I do, I do NOT want to find evidence of it. Okay?

I was going to post a third item about bedbugs that I also overheard while eating my Bran Flakes earlier this week, but I realized just how horrible this post has become and decided I just couldn't do it. Does anyone else have any anti-Bran Flakes phrases you would like to share? Please do- I'm glad I've gotten it off my chest.