Pope Family Adoption Story

Two weeks ago, today. 

I woke up in a hotel room five hours from our home. I say "I woke up" but I honestly don't think I slept more than ten minutes the whole night. 

We left home the day before because our birth mom was being induced! We spent five hours in the car talking non-stop about how we were finally going to meet our son. He was six days past his due date, so we had stopped guessing when he was going to be born. It just got our hopes up and my nerves in a bundle (I'm the worrier). 

She had been induced at 7:30am Monday, and it was now 6am Tuesday. We hadn't gotten an update from the birth mom or a social worker in over 7 hours! As you can imagine, I had spent the entire night wondering what was wrong. 

Did they have complications? 

Is something wrong with mom? 

OR BABY!? 

Or had she given birth and had just changed her mind and decided to parent!? 

Without sounding dramatic it was THE WORST night of my life. About the time I was ready to drive to the hospital and track some people down, I got an email from birth mom! She was fine and baby was fine! He was just still in there! We all giggled a little. What in the world!? An hour later they finally were able to break her water. Then a couple of hours after that, he finally made it! All ten fingers, ten toes, a dimpled chin and a perfect little head. 

In North Carolina, birth mothers have to wait 12 hours after birth before they can sign their relinquishments. This is just to make sure any medications are out of their systems, and it is a sound decision on their part.

 We knew we wouldn't get to meet him until after those 12 hours. Which was perfectly fine! We had developed a relationship with the birth mom over the previous weeks through an email the agency set up.  We already had so much love and respect for her and were happy to give her and her family some space. 

Much to our surprise her social worker called and said "can you guys be here at 2? She wants you to meet her family and wanted you to be able to meet him!" Umm... YES! 

She was incredibly and exceedingly gracious to us! She didn't just take up her 12 hours with him by herself. Which she would have been more than justified in doing. She brought us in to meet her three children, and we got to see and hold Sawyer and love on his birth mother. 

Then later that night, when the 12 hours were coming to a close, and she was going to sign her relinquishments, she invited us back to spend time with her and her mom, sister and actually the birth father (which was a total surprise). 

It was incredibly emotional and heavy but such a privilege. 

Two weeks ago today was the best day of our lives but the worst day of hers. 

She's not a 17 year old girl who had a child while she herself is still a child. 

She isn't a drug addict that the courts are demanding her rights to be relinquished. 

She's a beautiful woman who made the hardest decision of her entire life! 

She wanted more for him. She wanted him to have a Godly father. She wanted her family to thrive instead of struggle. She wanted to help someone (like us) who can't have children, to be parents. 

The emotions in that room were so heavy and the silence at times was deafening. I know that every single one of us was watching the clock. Waiting for 9:30. 

I could see her starting to crumble and she eventually got out of the bed and left for a moment. 

Listening to your birth mom sob uncontrollably in the bathroom while her daughter was sitting next to me holding her baby brother was the hardest and most beautiful thing I've ever gotten to experience. 

When she came back out, she crawled back into her bed and said "okay". We couldn't legally be there for when she signed over her rights, so we both sat on the edge of her bed and hugged her and told her that we loved her and that we would be in touch. Whenever, if ever, she was ready to talk. 

We waited in the hospital parking lot for about 30 minutes. We saw his birth mom being discharged, and she left. And we were checked in! All the bracelets were switched and we were given a room and that was it! Hey, he's yours. We just sat on the bed and stared at him. Looked at every finger and dimple. 

Two weeks ago today we broke the stereotypes for adoptions. People often think of adoptions as being closed. No contact with the birth family at all! When in reality and recent decades it has become such a beautiful union of families. I'm not saying all birth mothers want or need contact with the adopted child. I know that there are many situations that it wouldn't be healthy for anyone! But for us, it works. She made the hardest decision I can imagine and she chose him above herself. That's a woman I want to know and love.

Two weeks ago today we were given this perfect and beautiful gift.