When I first met Becca, I immediately thought she was a lot like me but somehow a million times weirder.
She was summer staff on a PowerPlant project I was coordinating, and her infectious smile and obsessive compulsion with bouncing a bouncy ball on important things like the Arch or museum exhibits made me so happy to know her.
A few years later, I heard she was engaged, and I knew he had to be one cool cat to land her. I got to see them both when photographing a wedding of mutual friends, and he is just as awesome as she is. Good fit.
Becca and Dawjr are in their mid-twenties and have only been married for a few years. But they have a heart for adoption now. They aren't putting it off until they are more financially stable or have "kids of their own."
I asked Becca to share their story, and this is what she writes:
For us, adoption is a first choice. If it was a second choice for you, that is not a bad thing, adoption is always good.
I have learned (in my short time) that there are two different angles (and probably like a million others) to approach adoption.
It has been such an eye-opening (and ear-opening) experience to interact with people attempting to figure out which "side we are on." Most people figure this out by asking questions. All adoptive parents have endured this phase and the difficult questions and comments.
These comments can be difficult to answer, but I can confidently say to each individual that God is in control of the Wood family! We want to be "fruitful and multiply" and we want to be good stewards of what He has given us.
When we married in 2011, we said that when we felt the timing was right, we would adopt. This year, the timing was right and we began praying individually. We came together at Panera for a family meeting and talked about what God was revealing to us. We confidently agreed that there was absolutely no better time to adopt than this year. That week we began the adoption "process".
This meant we made several commitments.
I have learned (in my short time) that there are two different angles (and probably like a million others) to approach adoption.
1. There are those that feel an urgency and calling to adopt from God.
2. There are those that are eager to grow their family, but are infertile, and seeking alternatives to growing their family. I don't think it has to be like this.
2. There are those that are eager to grow their family, but are infertile, and seeking alternatives to growing their family. I don't think it has to be like this.
It has been such an eye-opening (and ear-opening) experience to interact with people attempting to figure out which "side we are on." Most people figure this out by asking questions. All adoptive parents have endured this phase and the difficult questions and comments.
These comments can be difficult to answer, but I can confidently say to each individual that God is in control of the Wood family! We want to be "fruitful and multiply" and we want to be good stewards of what He has given us.
When we married in 2011, we said that when we felt the timing was right, we would adopt. This year, the timing was right and we began praying individually. We came together at Panera for a family meeting and talked about what God was revealing to us. We confidently agreed that there was absolutely no better time to adopt than this year. That week we began the adoption "process".
This meant we made several commitments.
We committed to caring for a birth mom.
We committed to caring about the things Jesus cares about (when we are not distracted by our own desires and consumed by our weaknesses).
We committed to NOT being disappointed with not being able to carry a child, and held each other accountable when these feelings would sneak up.
We never became attached to the idea of birthing our own child. Am I heart broken that I haven't birthed a baby or conceived ? Nope. Am I abnormal because of this? Probably. I feel like the Lord knows what's best. Will I ask a doctor to diagnose me as infertile? Nope.
Life for us is not about reproducing a child that shares DNA with us or has Dawjr's good looks. It's about doing something greater than ourselves, regardless if we are child less, child bearing, child rearing, child loving or adopting.
Right now, we are SO looking forward to holding our sweet child, and teaching them to treasure Jesus daily.
We are looking forward to a potential lifelong relationship with an expectant/ birth mother.
There are no feelings of sadness or disappointment when I think about bringing an adopted baby home, only pure joy. (and a deep ache for the expectant mothers making difficult decisions, being alone in their thoughts and anxiety. That makes me sad, and you are not forgotten.)
With that being said, maybe you are the most fertile or infertile lady on the block or maybe you're like me and you're really not sure.
Either way, adoption does not have to be your second option; a back-up plan.
There is no better time to adopt internationally, adopt domestically, foster or respite care than right now (and there is not one better than the other, there is a need for all of them).
Whether you feel an urgency and calling to adopt OR you are eager to grow a family OR raise the next generation, adoption does not have to be the last resort.
We can change the way we think about adoption and infertility.
With that being said, maybe you are the most fertile or infertile lady on the block or maybe you're like me and you're really not sure.
Either way, adoption does not have to be your second option; a back-up plan.
There is no better time to adopt internationally, adopt domestically, foster or respite care than right now (and there is not one better than the other, there is a need for all of them).
Whether you feel an urgency and calling to adopt OR you are eager to grow a family OR raise the next generation, adoption does not have to be the last resort.
We can change the way we think about adoption and infertility.
Dawjr and I are (fairly) young (26-27) and "not wealthy" (teacher, pastor). We are having to fundraise the whole-way-through and have jumped head first into domestic adoption because we believe the Lord has specifically told us that our first child will be brought to our family in this way.
Am I nervous?! OH yeah (were you nervous when you were pregnant with your first child)! Am I excited?! OHHHH yes! I've been mothering little children as a teacher for years as Mrs. Wood, but soon I will get a new name, I will be called "MOM"!
It's liberating knowing I don't have to "try" for years for a biological child. It's never too early to start the adoption process; adoption doesn't have to be your fall back option.
It's liberating knowing I don't have to "try" for years for a biological child. It's never too early to start the adoption process; adoption doesn't have to be your fall back option.
**Follow their adoption journey at www.dawjrandbecca.blogspot.com and if you feel led, click here to be directed to a place you can help support their adoption financially.
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